Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She needs sedatives and a leash
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
