we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
