doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
