If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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