sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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