If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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