I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
