i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You've changed since you got that strap on
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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