Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
