This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
