I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
