i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
