shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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