He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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