Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
