so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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