I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
