Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
