You're so nebulous sometimes
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
