come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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