So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
