I hate your face
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
