whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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