But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
