I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
