Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
