just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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