hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
