He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I lost the right to judge tonight
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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