I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
