Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
