Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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