i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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