Your dad touched me again.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
