If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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