tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
