Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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