WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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