"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Randomize
