dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
