she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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