she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
