my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I would fuck him just for his dog
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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