did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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