oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
