So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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