someone threw a dead crab at me
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
