miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
