What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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