Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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