Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
