Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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