Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
