wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
